Naruk-o writes an anal probe

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"AGH! MY ASS!!!", screamed Cartman in pain as fire and ashes shot furiously out of his rectum, lighting a nearby frenchy British boy alit like a small candle.

"Woah dude!", exclaimed Kyle, the class jew one of the main boys of the group. "See, I told you visitors were real!", Kyle's lover super best friend Stan added.

FUN FACT: These "visitors", are extraterrestrial aliens who place anal probes and mutilate cows.

"GODDAMNIT I KNOW IT WAS JUST A DREAM, I KNOW THAT I DON'T HAVE AN ANAL PROBE--", Cartman shouted as he, Kyle, Stan and Kenny walked down the sidewalk "excused" from school. "...AND I KNOW THAT I'M NOT UNDER ALIEN CONTROL!!--" BAM! Suddenly, a large lightning bolt shot down from the almighty universe directly at Cartman, sending him falling towards the concrete ever so slowly and delicately (kinda like something you'd expect from an anime)....okay, maybe not so delicately. I mean, the bigger they are the harder they fall, right?

Anyway, there Cartman was, lying on the ground scorched with a scent of burning flesh, having received God's 'courtesy lick'. "Cartman! Cartman what the hell was that??", Stan asked in shock, while Kyle said nothing and Kenny poked the fat lifeless body with a stick. Slowly, ever so slowly, Cartman's brown eyes opened, gazing up upon his three closest friends. Something about him seemed....different, though.

His eyes seemed more..."cartoony", and his cheeks had a rosy pigment to them. Kenny poked Cartman a few more times before Kyle stopped him and asked "Hey...are you alright, fatass?", he said with a smirk, which Stan sensed that Kyle kinda enjoyed watching the one person he despised being shot by lightning....but who could blame him?

Cartman seemed to ignore Kyle's jab at his weight, and instead slowly rose, took a deep breath....and SANG.

"I love to sing-a! About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a! I love to sing-a! About the sky a blue-a or a tea for two-a---"

Cartman's body gave off a wave of static electricity before it looked like he was back to his old fat racist self again.

And in that moment, after just having witnessed one of his closest..um..friends get electrocuted by visitors and sing showtunes (possibly scarring his young mind for the rest of his life), Stan stared at Cartman with his bright blue eyes, and said....

...."WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

© 2013 - 2024 naruk-o
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TitanicGirl666's avatar
Pip's probably in my top three favorite characters but I absolutely died laughing from the first sentence.